Evil

As I told C. Burak, evil is a sequence of insanity, doing the same thing a thousand times & expecting a different result each time. I went to Burning Man with the biggest, most pathologically narcissistic sequence I've ever had the misfortune to deal with. Has a boyfriend, while I have no girlfriend, yet STILL tries to pull me into her bullshit. STILL won't do the slightest bit of self-reflection that I & others have done for a long time as adults. "Friends from our youth have a powerful hold on our minds like no others" - Mary Shelley. It's true. Usually it's fine. Sometimes though..horrible. Can't ever be honest & direct with her...she'll thank you for your directness, then proceed to royally fuck with your life behind your back. Cointel Pro. The latest text from from a-hole:

"I know better and should prolly take this with a grain of salt-but i get scared at times...esp when I have someone whispering in my ear that you are ready to write me off...I don't mean to lay my insecurities out on you...and he's prolly taking something you said the wrong way...but a word of comfort would be appreciated..but only if ya mean it. Or do we have something to talk about?"

NO, we have nothing to talk about. Have to block her, it's just more game. This is what K was talking about with all his pieces of eight pearls of wisdom! "Can't be close to someone who uses your honesty behind your back to hurt you"...yes, that is what this one does. She works stuff out of you, then she takes it to another person & works stuff out of them, then she takes their stuff to you and works stuff out of you, back and forth until it's total pandemonium. "Man, sometimes, with certain people, the best way to care is to just NOT CARE". "Well, what is it worth if they have some of your stuff to have them out of your life? Lose a bunch of stuff? Fine, that was the price to get them out of my life...sounds like I got a good deal, really." K, the Catholic menzik!

Tired of being a free therapist for folks with good health insurance that can afford one. If they're part of my unitarian community or friends who can't afford it, that's one thing. But...They spend plenty of money on fancy toys like Vaio laptops, an LCD projector (yes), etc. Then want to charge me like half the rent for the place when they should pay ME for dealing with their chaos & mediating. DO THE PERSONAL WORK, cowards. I spent MY OWN MONEY for months on an expensive shrink when I was 24, up until I got insurance through work, then I kept paying then. I could've used that money for a lot of fancy tchotkies. I just bought art supplies now and then, clothes now & then, and a few pieces of music equipment. I didn't blow it all on nice