Quite the washing machine, eh? Who was being the coward. I think...uh...ME. Because when you wear those polka dot 50s Wanda Jackson VS Donna Reed Mud Fight dresses, makes me wanna be a MAYN! Boiiiing. Sling ya over my shoulder, exit stage left like Snagglepus from all danger. Makes me wanna do the stuff I gotta do. Makes me wanna walk against traffic while you're on the safe side of traffic, so that you don't get hit by Sam Kinison or something.
Never said those three words so soon. They should not be dropped lightly. Empathy? I don't need that drug. I have plenty of that human quality. I don't need medication. I don't need that stuff, it's for getting by at best, getting hosed at worst. Words have meaning. And symbols only have meaning when backed up.
"this this this" - SG
I know. Hem and haw. Blah blah blah, "WHATCHYEW DOIN', LEE MILLAH, YOU EMASCULATED GOOFBALL!?"
I say what I mean and mean what I say. And I ams what I ams. Akakakakakaka!
The Judge must be swift, and the judge had to be swift because someone has to play that role sometimes much to their disdain. The Judge can't be namby pamby. The judge is a pretty gal with alot of talent, and it's her turn to walk a path of crazy adventure. It's my turn to be the Judge. Always kind of had to be so, for friends, for parents...parenting parents is not a lot of fun. I'd rather be doing it for someone that is shtooping me, being supportive, looking me in the eyes, enhancing my life. I'm pretty good at judging, though swift witnessing was not my style. It was a nice equilibrium. To part with a best friend...it's painful to see them leave. The Odd Couple. Oscar & Felix. She's mature, she's quite young, she's pretty, she's smart, she's strong, she'll have no problema out there. Sheesh, I had a hard time figuring it out myself! Can ya grok my ability to resist temptation? My resolve? DON'T WORRY ABOUT HER. She'll still be in your life. "First take care of yourself" - my Catholic brobocop, who is still in my life, though from a distance.
I didn't want to say you "take off all your clothes"..no, not exactly. You only took off SOME of your clothes for people. For me, ya took em ALL off! Hubba hubba, me likee. Voluptuous. Curvy. Soft face. I don't assume you do that for just anyone, either. You exposed yourself to me emotionally & physically. That matters to me, because I'm not a slut either. Never did that "ethical stud" thing. :) Or even the Stud thing. Ethical Stud path would be this:
1. Shaddup, I don't want to ever have any meaningful relationships or learn anything about myself, I want to hide all my wounds and inadequacies until I'm just a pile of wounds and inadequacies with no mojo.
2. Let's screw.
3. Okay, you gotta get the fuck outta here, because I think I'm Wilt Chamberlain.
Hard to sell a one-page book. I'm sure there's some books out there that dress it up, I just simplified it for everyone. It's that guy on that show that wears mascara and looks like he raided the wardrobes of Elton John and Dr. Seuss. For fuck's sake, WHO comes up with these shows.
I can't allow my family to ruin something for me again. This is what irritates me about my mom's side of the family especially, and it's affected my life: They don't do their own shit, they try to live through me, and it screws with me. BOUNDARIES. Even my sister does it. My dad played his part by being a spiritual leaf in the wind, but...he's not "perfect" either, though my sister seems to think he is. Interdependence vs. Codependence. I have to be swift. I have to be more of a judge now.
You are now a true burlesque dancer and vaudeville comedienne. I am now an awesome comedic writer. And we'll be BETTER. We'll be harder on ourselves, because if we don't, nobody else is going to do it for us. Babaloooooo!
Can't go wrong following your heart, folks. Got to take a risk now and then. Not a path for cowards. Where to now? "Happiness is only real when it's shared". I've stuck to my guns, I've suffered some, but it's a book of life, not a book of suffering. I can't do this long-distance crap anymore, it's driving me fastiche, and I'm not a monk! I like physical contact and intimacy. Happiness is only real when it's SHARED. And if you wish to be in a REAL relationship with someone, must share what you have. Whether that be resources, inspiration, support, inspirational words, etc. I have few dowries. But, I have moxie, I have resolve, & I have a bitchin car, the RomaniMobile. That is something I made sure to invest in because I saw the market crash coming a mile away...and I have SOME savings. McMansions? LIVE IN A MODEST HOME, Credit Whores!
My car is my car. And it can also be yours too. My life is my life, but we can share our lives often. NO, can't put all your heart into just one person, it must go into community, work, ideal living, and values. Kids, Ozzie & Harriet? Eh? That's applecarts before horses, ya adorkable little zero mostel. We got too much still to do, don't you think? And are plenty of unwanted kids anyway, don't have to pop out babies to make a difference to a kid's life. I know this from personal experience.
Ideals vs. Values. What's the difference? Ideals are stars to sail the ship by, values are how the ship is run. Ideals are not a nightstick to Rodney King who we care about, or ourselves. I have goals. I have ideals. I have passion. I do have values, but THE values, I could do with a little training.
Meh, I can't likely BE JEWISH, because that's some Jim Henson DNA Scientist Babies Tribal stuff. I can be jew-ISH though. I can be Catholic. I was already Judaic. I might be mondo bizarro, as the great spiral made me, but I do have faith in something higher than me.
We BELONG to no person, because we're not chattel. We belong to the Great Spirit. IT'S DA GREAT SPIRIT, CHARLIE BROWN!
Don't bring it to your parents, they don't need it. Your moms is stressed. They're stressed and unhappy & have had trouble adjusting to Amerikanskis. That is my opinion. They're traditional, Russian culture is more cut and dry. This is just for you. This is yours alone. Nobody can take it from you.
If I MAKE it, you will come. That's the problem, I keep saying I'll come and then go back or whatever, and you're like "GO BACK? Pfft. Waffle House!"
WHATCHEW DOIN LEE MILLAH!? What I like about "The Values" is..where there's will, where there's integrity, there's a way. Strategize. Prioritize. Get rid of idols, because they're just objects & they are useful but they don't really DO anything. People do things, guided by eyeh asher eyeh. I am what I am. I am what I will be. A writer. A comic. And a dude. I have to break things down to stay grounded. Polyamory..I think that's called "getting by". Ethical Slut...I think that's called "painful progress". True love...THAT frees someone from the grip of evil and turns their spiral up, turns them from a small spiral to a medium sized combo. FOCUS.
I stick to my guns. I am in love with a gal and she needs me. K.I.S.S. She is frustrating sometimes...but she's had a rough life. Many don't know what the USSR was like. Afghanistan body bags, Perestroika, Glasnost, rapid changes, civil strife, and Chernobyl, the greatest disaster ever. Wherever my path leads me, I do not lose SO much. Money is important, but it's just a tool, an object that represents value. Symbols are important, but they mean nothing when not backed up. Words are just words when not backed up with moxie and action. They're just symbols, and symbols are important...but I protect what is truly precious and important. Welcome to the era of the New Beat poets. Join the party, cool older hippies, you are invited. Are there any beards among you? Just don't do this:
Try not to abuse cocaine, that's Wall Street stuff. Prop 19 needs you to stay mellow gold.
This is Torah of the Heart. Torah of the Heart is easy..what I find hateful when done to me, I do my best not to do to who I love. Opinions of others are important and should be respected, but it's our lives. When I've been irresponsible, I must be accountable. I am deserving of things..but I do not feel ENTITLED to them. ;)
I don't like separation. It brings misery to people and nations. And I don't like seperatism, because we're all in this boat together. Maybe one day they'll look at a ballot and say.."what are this guy's VALUES?" I couldn't say, I'm not some zimzalazam "gypsy" fortune teller.
Ya know, Cracked.com denied me thrice? Some other folks didn't deny me. Some were cool, some not so much, but they all generally understood compassion and turning silver to gold. Never been involved with one..just observed. OTHER individuals. It's just a part of who someone is. We're all just souls in bodies. :)
See ya soon, I hope. Hope springs eternal. <3
Ahavath Chesed 4 Life.
