I Was Asked What It's Like Where I "Live"

Well, it sucks. That's why I'm doing things to GTFO of here. There used to a be a marginally funny website an acquaintance of mine ran called "Jackoffville.com" that summed it up pretty good. I would submit stuff, including pictures of the various denizens ones find in WalMart. The best was a picture of this redneck chick with a horrible mullet playing Deer Hunter at 1 AM. Deer Hunter, yeah..an arcade game, someone actually came up with that. What's next, Squirrel Hunter? Quail Zapper? I think Duck Hunt for Nintendo started that trend..and ended it. Plenty of REAL deer around here to go shooting at. Plus you get venison, which is the most delicious meat one can eat on earth. Incredibly lean, no fat.

Jacksonville is run by the First Baptist church. They even somehow got zoning to put up this lighthouse to assert their authority over the region. It's an eyesore, some complain about it, most people LOVE IT. Uh, this is FLORIDA, there's plenty of REAL Lighthouses, didn't need one right smack in the middle of downtown. Someone should make a pirate ship float and drive right into that thing. "Whoops. Thar be Baptists! ARrrrr!" It looks like Jesus's barber shop. "Hey ya'll come on in! I'm gonna HEAL all your horrible haircuts!".


"HUGE Eyesore? APPROVED! Anything remotely promoting progressiveness, economic growth, fun and inclusivity? DENIED!"

Imagine the town council from the movie Hot Fuzz. Kinda like that. Thing is like the tower of Sauron. The eye over everyone. Getchya EyeSaur-On!


"Hulp, pshhhhh, hulp psssh...bacchanalian evildoers, bohemians, anyone left of center, & Mayor Lowe of Gainesville, Reverend Sauron is watching you...(satan growl)"

Methlabs, Waffle Houses, and the occasional glimpse of culture. That is Jackoffville, FL. Oh, and lots of these:


"Uh...hey guys, Dukes of Hazard got canceled about 30 years ago...oh, and maybe ya didn't get the memo, the South LOST the Civil War. I guess Sherman burned the mail routes too."

Yeah, this eyesore was flying next to a Florida highway for awhile.


"Hang dem gay negro zombies high, Cleetus!"

Redneck Zombies. This can't be any worse than that Troma movie "Night Of The Living Rednecks" about zombie making moonshine.