Body Image

The media is constantly barraging everyone with their concept of an ideal body image. I can't even handle it anymore, I just defer to what other people say about a TV show. "OH MAN, did you see Dumb White Trash Guy last night, or Fat Balding Idiot and Super Smart Hot Wife, or that show about the kid, with the two stereotypical male father figures...you know, Jon Cryer the Huge Mangina, and Charlie Sheen the Fuck Everything That Moves stereotype?" Ha. Yeah, that's what it's come to. That is essentially a couple of guys filling the role of a feminine and masculine archetype. If only people talked like I do. You know, this is an Idiocracy, "there we go with that FAG talk again". I tend to watch movies. I've had enough of spoiled Hollywood types telling ME how I should see myself. Their standard output should be "Swimming in Arizona Bay". THERE would be a show! Bill Hicks was right about L.A.

Here's one, FAKE BOOBS:



"Makers of Not-So-Ironic Ironic T-Shirts take heed!"



"The American Female in 10 years"

Media gets people feeling like they're NOT people if there is any "imperfection" or ANYTHING they can be picked apart for. Boobs are cool, I like them, sure. I posit the question: What is better than boobs? I'll keep seamier answers to myself, but.."Ye though I walk through the valley of the shadow of giant fake boobs & an evil media empire..." That's how that should be rewritten. One of my projects is to rewrite the New Testament from a modern perspective. I think the media messes up females as much if not more than males. The message that is sent CONSTANTLY is "I, the male of the species, am not listening, I'm just looking at your boobs". Yeah, I'll sneak a peek at boobs or ass now & then, OF COURSE, it's like ninja eyes. SHOOP, Haikiba, gym kata, TNA, shoop! Especially a round butt, there is nothing I love more than a heart-shaped butt. Upside-down heart!


"Only a lover of ass could make such a simple, ingenious graphic as this."

I won't STARE, though. That's just rude. Staring is threatening. Staring is like...imagine Charlie Brown's teacher as a giant pair of boobs:


"Charlie Brown, wah WAH wah?..."

"Yes..I have it."

"Wah,whaWAH?"

"No. Yes. Wait. What was the question, I was staring at the magical balloon ride.."

Yep. The Great Magical Balloon Contest. It's like that movie Around The World In 80 Days or something. Battle of The Boobs! Jump in your boob balloon, who can make it around the world and back FIRST.


"I am filled with shame because of my humble breasteses.."

Truth on the lips. The crap pisses me off. Why? Because it makes chicks with small bigs self conscious...AND it makes chicks with big ones self conscious. Tig ole bittys, pects that look like Butterball turkeys, THAT's what it is to be a woman or a man? HA! Crom laughs at this notion. Me, I'm just a wegroe whose heart has grown 100x for these neglected, more modest boobs of the world. Fear not, meek boobs, for this is the age of ASS. Climb stairs, wear tight jeans, ass is class.

I gotta start another blog I guess. On top of the other two I've attempted on Xanga and Blogspot. Yeesh. The Super Secret Guy Club blog. Oyayi. This shouldn't be for the eyes of the opposite sex. A guy should keep secrets, women have TOO MUCH POWER as is.
Gender inequality is a good topic for...hmm, about 10 minutes. Then, guys come off like this:


"Waaaah! Waaaah! I'm gonna talk about all the stuff your dads kvetch about, waah!"

This picture is pretty classic. Perhaps babies CAN sense evil and irresponsible fiscal policy.