Notes From The Waiting Room - Part One, March 2010

"Love" What is it? To be honest, I have no clue. Most people dont, yet trick themselves into thinking they do. WHat the hell is It. Well...it's insanity. More so today in a loveless world...what's the divorce rate up to now? It's an invention of the greeting card industry..no, but the greeting card industry has had their say in molding what it has come to be known as. It's also mutual, SENSIBLE sacrifice. It's wanting to declare a geehawd on a million muthafuckas WITH someone..not FOR them or against them. Four chambers in the heart, to be loaded with bullets to shoot at a wicked world. Pilot & copilot in a B52 bomber. Drop the neutron bomb of the products of passion, to neutralize all that is anti-love and anti-living. Its kinship...but it has to go beyond that. It is NOT waiting in vain...but if mutual, one can wait until the Sun turns supernova. Weighting possibilities, not waiting in vain. You can wait until generations of stars become wishes. It IS insanity...and it has to be measured insanity to be a healthy insanity, small doses... "A little nonsense now & then is treasured by the wisest men". Well, that's what I *think* Love is....but what the fuck do I know? Love is the only true adventure. It's friendship set on fire. It has no awareness of merits or demerits. We love in another many of the things we see in ourselves.

"If I speak in human and angelic tongues 2 but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing. For we know partially and prophecy partially, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I talked as a child, thought as a child, reasoned as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things. At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known. So...faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love." - 1Corinthians13...one of the few books of the New Testament that seems to make much sense. Though I would say that most adults, when they cease thinking like children...just stop thinking about things entirely.

If one can't love a person..then love an endeavor. Love the world, and let your talents be a manifestion of that love for the world. Love what promotes equal opportunities, safe, clean environments...dismiss what does not. If you wish to be happy, set goals that command your thoughts, liberate your energy, and inspire hope in you. The opposite of love isn't hate, it is indifference. I am indifferent towards multinational corporations that set up in countries, get treated as if they had all the rights of an individual, exploit & corrupt the laws of that host country while looking for the next fertile plain to locust to...but what I hate is the effects of their short-sightedness. It is precisely like that movie cube..it's a huge construct, and nobody knows who built it exactly, everyone just does what they're supposed to, each individual an architect of a greater hell. My hatred is better used to destroy this construct in showing how it is a dead end. Robber barons are alive and well, and few of them follow the more responsible model of Andrew Carnegie.

It is human nature to never be satisfied, to always strive for better. If I give up, if I resign myself to the cube, to be cataloged and put on a shelf, what have I done with the gifts given to me by the creator of worlds. If we never strive for the better in others, only for the betterment of ourselves, what is created? Houses built with nobody to occupy them, yet armies of homeless everywhere. Change is painful...that's why people avoid it. They are as stiff trees that splinter, break, then fall over taking down others..not bamboo that bends in the wind, becoming even stronger when wet. That's why they look for scapegoats & martyrs...when we are all scapegoats and martyrs.

I do not hate the weakness I see in others, because many of the same weaknesses are in me. I look at their weakness, & I think - there but for the grace of god go I. Wisdom isn't just learning from our own mistakes, but from the mistakes of others.