Wish I had Showtime so I could see the repeats.
This show ascribes to two of my favorite things: educational and highly entertaining. Due to time limits, they can't get too in-depth, but they make their points effectively and spur on further discussion & research. A couple of my favorite segments:
My only criticism of Penn & Teller's Bullshit is sometimes they run out of topics and just resort to subjects that aren't really all that harmful to society. Those episodes are rare thankfully.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Gay VS. Glee
Ah...I think I have found a new word for gay, so all the INCREDIBLY gay mallrat kids out there can have a new word to use without offending the Village Voice People.
GLEE
"Joe buys trucker hats, wears them sideways, paints his nails...damn, that guy's so glee. (mallrat hair swipe). Since it's just a show, I now feel safe in using this descriptor without hurting someone's feelings or making my gay manager at Whole Foods angry with me".
NOW, everyone can call something stupid & douchey "glee" and feel safe in the knowledge that only some Glee fanatic with pictures of the cast as their screensaver will get their underwear in a bunch over it. Is it the WORD, or is it the INTENT behind the word? It's the intent behind it. If someone calls something "gay", and they wear mascara, spend an hour on their ensembles, have a Lord Fautleroy haircut..why do folks even bother getting offended? It's projection.."Oh, I paint my nails black and that's kinda gay, so I'm going to call everyone online gay, from a safe distance". Now, if someone's got a gun holster, is thumbing their suspenders, and looking at ya like you're a rabbit in their cage...yeah, get your underwear in a bunch. Otherwise...who cares. It isn't like straight always has positive connotations. I mean, "straight jacket"? "Straight talk" (the sort of stuff that gets you shived nowadays). "Straight-edge" (i.e. "I gotta get straight, I can't ever have a drink again"). "I got a wife & kids to think about, I gotta keep on the straight and narrow"...sound like privilege? "Dire Straights/Straits"...the song "Money For Nothing" is now officially banned in Canada because of the line "that little faggot, he's a millionaire". Rolling Stone Yes, Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits is seeking to oppress gay people everywhere. Pssht. I may think it's a lame ass song, but..per Voltaire: "I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend unto death your right to say it". Dead Prez has lyrics like "I'm down for running up on them crackers in they City Halls"...should that song be banned from radio play? NO, because it's just a SONG, banning it would have the adverse effect. Dead Prez are a controversial band, but that's sort of their job. They have one video called "Hell Yeah" that SEEMS to be about carjacking white people, scamming welfare and food stamp programs, engaging in identity theft, etc..but the whole song is in character & is describing someone's nightmare. Most people are too stupid to listen to the lyrics in entirety or see the subtext. I can almost see it now: "YEah! Imma do that, Dead Prez!"..Dead Prez: "No, dummies, LISTEN! We're not saying DO THAT STUFF, we're not trying to glorify that! We're saying READ SOME BOOKS, the system is the PROBLEM!" Same reason Lupe Fiasco wrote Dumb It Down..."you'll sell more records if you dumb it down".
Anyway...GLEE. GLEE PRIDE!
Glee is like the Teacher's Union version of Cop Rock. If you don't know what Cop Rock is, kiss the cross, because i'm about to stain your eyes. THIS is Cop Rock:
"Andrew Lloyd Weber is gangraped by Def Leppard and Cops investigate while dancing on desks...hmm, this sounds like a good pilot, Pitch Guy. Here's 20 million dollars and all the people that didn't make the cut for Fame."
File under Crimes Against Humanity in the halls of television history. This show led to the Rodney King incident...that's what cops were so angry about. Cop Rock led to the LA Riots. That's a fact jack.
The best comment on this video: "im tired and hungry and one foot in the grave...**jazzhands**" and..."They're not homeless due to joblessness--Thor the God of Thunder and Good Taste was so pissed off by this show that now, every time a former actor from this show tries to buy a new home and move in, he lightning-bolts the fuck out that ground until they're nothing but a crater that spells - Fuck You."
Thank you..this has been a Public Service Announcement from the Hall of Poop Culture.
"LOOK CLARA! IT'S THAT GLEE PRIDE RAINBOW! THE GLEE AGENDA HAS INFILTRATED NBC!!!"
GLEE
"Joe buys trucker hats, wears them sideways, paints his nails...damn, that guy's so glee. (mallrat hair swipe). Since it's just a show, I now feel safe in using this descriptor without hurting someone's feelings or making my gay manager at Whole Foods angry with me".
NOW, everyone can call something stupid & douchey "glee" and feel safe in the knowledge that only some Glee fanatic with pictures of the cast as their screensaver will get their underwear in a bunch over it. Is it the WORD, or is it the INTENT behind the word? It's the intent behind it. If someone calls something "gay", and they wear mascara, spend an hour on their ensembles, have a Lord Fautleroy haircut..why do folks even bother getting offended? It's projection.."Oh, I paint my nails black and that's kinda gay, so I'm going to call everyone online gay, from a safe distance". Now, if someone's got a gun holster, is thumbing their suspenders, and looking at ya like you're a rabbit in their cage...yeah, get your underwear in a bunch. Otherwise...who cares. It isn't like straight always has positive connotations. I mean, "straight jacket"? "Straight talk" (the sort of stuff that gets you shived nowadays). "Straight-edge" (i.e. "I gotta get straight, I can't ever have a drink again"). "I got a wife & kids to think about, I gotta keep on the straight and narrow"...sound like privilege? "Dire Straights/Straits"...the song "Money For Nothing" is now officially banned in Canada because of the line "that little faggot, he's a millionaire". Rolling Stone Yes, Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits is seeking to oppress gay people everywhere. Pssht. I may think it's a lame ass song, but..per Voltaire: "I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend unto death your right to say it". Dead Prez has lyrics like "I'm down for running up on them crackers in they City Halls"...should that song be banned from radio play? NO, because it's just a SONG, banning it would have the adverse effect. Dead Prez are a controversial band, but that's sort of their job. They have one video called "Hell Yeah" that SEEMS to be about carjacking white people, scamming welfare and food stamp programs, engaging in identity theft, etc..but the whole song is in character & is describing someone's nightmare. Most people are too stupid to listen to the lyrics in entirety or see the subtext. I can almost see it now: "YEah! Imma do that, Dead Prez!"..Dead Prez: "No, dummies, LISTEN! We're not saying DO THAT STUFF, we're not trying to glorify that! We're saying READ SOME BOOKS, the system is the PROBLEM!" Same reason Lupe Fiasco wrote Dumb It Down..."you'll sell more records if you dumb it down".
Anyway...GLEE. GLEE PRIDE!
Glee is like the Teacher's Union version of Cop Rock. If you don't know what Cop Rock is, kiss the cross, because i'm about to stain your eyes. THIS is Cop Rock:
"Andrew Lloyd Weber is gangraped by Def Leppard and Cops investigate while dancing on desks...hmm, this sounds like a good pilot, Pitch Guy. Here's 20 million dollars and all the people that didn't make the cut for Fame."
File under Crimes Against Humanity in the halls of television history. This show led to the Rodney King incident...that's what cops were so angry about. Cop Rock led to the LA Riots. That's a fact jack.
The best comment on this video: "im tired and hungry and one foot in the grave...**jazzhands**" and..."They're not homeless due to joblessness--Thor the God of Thunder and Good Taste was so pissed off by this show that now, every time a former actor from this show tries to buy a new home and move in, he lightning-bolts the fuck out that ground until they're nothing but a crater that spells - Fuck You."
Thank you..this has been a Public Service Announcement from the Hall of Poop Culture.
"LOOK CLARA! IT'S THAT GLEE PRIDE RAINBOW! THE GLEE AGENDA HAS INFILTRATED NBC!!!"
Saturday, January 29, 2011
My Treatise On Minimalism
I've read a few books on minimalism. There's a guy named Everette Brogue that has refined it even further & made some sort of career for himself from it. Far be it for me to begrudge someone their hustle, but it seemed to just be a phase or a fad for him. His blog is interesting:
Far Beyond The Stars
He hardly invented the concept, but he does have a lot to say about it from a fresh perspective. A lot of talk about cybernetic yogis, second lives (avatars...in other words, an online persona that isn't really who you are, which is a human being, not a robot), etc. I don't buy it whole-heartedly. Technology is a tool, not god. Technologies fail like all false idols fail. There are tools, and there is god, Shaddai, The Holy Pop-Pop, Trinity, whatever one wishes to call it. The maker of mountains and streams. The great tester and the seer-in-I. Over-dependence on technology presumes there will always be energy to run technology. Unless one is off the grid, has a home made from solar panels or a bio-diesel generator or something, I don't think it's the greatest idea to become TOO reliant on technology. Maybe if all the handwringers who blocked nuclear energy for decades hadn't been such demagogues, electric cars would be more common. I don't know. Later later...
There are the stars, and they don't change in our lifetimes...perhaps Betelgeuse, but I doubt Betelgeuse will go supernova for generations. I'd love to be alive to see that, it would be like the Dark Crystal planet or something. Astrology (Ophiuchus A.K.A. Oh,FUCK US) does not count..that's just the earth shifting on its axis, the stars didn't change. Astrology is fun, but it's hardly a faith. It's divination or whatever. "SCORPIO, you will encounter difficulties in relationships. Look out for an opportunity..." NO SHIT, Sherlock. Here's some master astrology from me: "You will screw up some. You will screw up some more. People will disappoint you. Your roommate/friend/parents/coworkers/S.O./etc will do something to irritate you. Politicians will kiss babies and shake hands, then when that doesn't get them votes & lobbies anymore, they'll shake babies and kiss hands. Some guru will claim to have all the answers to part you with your money & sit atop their pyramid tending to their 99 cadillacs. Water is wet. Look for opportunities. Welcome to the human condition".
How one lives is how one effects the world. I take Navy showers to reduce water consumption when rates go up from over-consumption or when there is one of the many water shortages in Florida. We live in a water based economy, primarily, and secondarily we use currency backed by petrodollars and derivatives & credit from selling our rectums to China & other countries that truly call the shots. Anyway..water. Arrakis (Iraq us). Desert planet:
How to Take a Navy Shower (Simplified)
Not much fun for a woman or for taking a shower with one. I live in Florida, which is home to more natural springs than anywhere else, due to the Florida Aquifer, a system of limestone caverns that rain water seeps into and is purified naturally. Many times, there are sinkholes, where a cavern gives way and someone loses their house. In many places, someone will own land on a natural spring, yet they do not own the spring..a company like Pepsi or Coca Cola will, and they own the rights to that water. They bottle it and sell our water overseas. They even have rights to municipal water systems and bottle that and sell it right back to us. I had a discussion with a friend about this, and it made me think of an episode of P&T's Bullshit where they talk about the same thing. I refrained from buying bottled water & just used a Brita filter or tap water. Florida tap water tastes like ASS, because of the water table & all the processing and treatment. However, US tap water is among the safest in the world unless you live near a fraction oil mining area or something where people have actually been able to turn their faucets on and set it on fire. Look it up, I'm not kidding. Bottled water is one of the biggest scams in the universe. It really is like that Brawndo crap from Idiocracy. "Nobody's buying their own water back from Brawndo, the economy is failing! Der der der, whattawedo?!"
Possessions
Everyone likes to own things. I have my fare share of stuff. I've been leveling over time, getting rid of things the past few years. I collect records. I have a few musical instruments that were good for zoning out in the audio representation of Om...generally what I would do, is sample things I liked onto a hard-drive, then donate them back to Goodwill or wherever. Buy a record for 50 cents, give it back, this is a way of supporting charity. It's a lend/lease program in my eyes. The good stuff I would tend to hold onto. I like records. I like the warmth and the scratch. But I don't even want most of mine anymore. GET RID of things that are not needed. A couple of pieces of furniture, a few framed pictures, TOOLS (my art tables, supplies), Total Gym (this thing is awesome, I have to admit..I don't think Wesley Snipes and Chuck Norris are talking out their ass about the TG), a small television & DVD player (libraries usually have all the books & DVDs one could want), I don't need much more.
The stuff I have, is COOL STUFF. I usually just give it away. A gift is a gift. I get my use from it, and then move it along. After a while, people accumulate so much stuff, their stuff owns them. Reminds me of that cheesy 80s movie, The Stuff:
Too true. A silly horror movie from the 80s with a subtext about rampant consumerism.
I celebrate "Buy Nothing Day", which historically has occurred on Black Friday. What better time to avoid being trampled by spiritually starved mobs wanting to be the first to have bragging rights on the SEXBOX 3 or whatever. What the hell? I know life's depressing, mankind, but an XBOX or Playstation isn't conducive to a healthy sex life. A Nintendo Wii maybe is. Wii Fit, holy crap, the Male Fitness strength training section is BRUTAL. Wii was designed with a progressive mindset for numerous life-enhancing uses. Therefore, it makes vaginas tingle. Those controllers vibrate like a fiend. If Nintendo wasn't as family oriented as it is, there'd be about 100 different X-rated videogames on the market. So, my tenant: If you must buy a videogame system, and you would like to see a vagina again instead of talking trash to 13-year-olds playing special ops on SOCOM or whatever, buy a Wii.
(Courtesy of Instructables, home of the Altoids Can Flux Capacitor)
"Red, yellow, blue, yellow, red...CRAP, SCREW THIS, I WANNA CALL AN ESCORT SERVICE & PULL OUT THE SIMON SAYS!"
DIET
Fresh fruit. Fresh vegetables. Simple, yet elegant. Olive oil and a little lemon pepper makes most vegetables pop. Carrots are good. Raw or cooked. Especially cooked, a carrot cooked JUST a little bit is the only vegetable that becomes MORE nutritious when sauteed a bit. A good spice rack is essential to good eating. Instead of the pre-packaged taco seasoning that is loaded with MSG and other crap, can throw together a far better taco seasoning in about 1 minute. The following foods are known as "Super foods": Blueberries, almonds, apples, carrots, avocados, lentils, lima beans, oatmeal, soy beans, broccoli (my favorite), flax seed (good as filler in various recipes). As for teas, Green tea is ace (good for energy and cleaning out your system), Ginger tea (good for digestion), etc. As for meat..red meat isn't good regularly. It's all about fish, eggs, chicken, pork...though I do love a bloody rare steak now and then. Those I usually have to do myself, because every restaurant is afraid of being sued for cooking a steak rare. Crockpot is an indispensible item..you throw in a bunch of ingredients, set the timer, and you've got everything you need when the time comes. OH, and smoothies! Damn, I love smoothies. I stopped using the protein powder in smoothies so much, because it can lead to ketosis, too much protein and not enough carbohydrates. Kidney stones, kidney problems, kidney failure...that stuff is better left to body builders and calorie counters. I don't count calories too much. If you're walking around, riding a bike, doing stuff like that, things just sort of work out. A "balanced diet" is called such for a reason. How the heck can anyone enjoy life if they're counting calories all the damn time? I mean, who goes to a Mexican restaurant and does this? "Ok. Oooh...senorita, can you tell me how many calories are in these flautas?" FACE:PALM.
Far Beyond The Stars
He hardly invented the concept, but he does have a lot to say about it from a fresh perspective. A lot of talk about cybernetic yogis, second lives (avatars...in other words, an online persona that isn't really who you are, which is a human being, not a robot), etc. I don't buy it whole-heartedly. Technology is a tool, not god. Technologies fail like all false idols fail. There are tools, and there is god, Shaddai, The Holy Pop-Pop, Trinity, whatever one wishes to call it. The maker of mountains and streams. The great tester and the seer-in-I. Over-dependence on technology presumes there will always be energy to run technology. Unless one is off the grid, has a home made from solar panels or a bio-diesel generator or something, I don't think it's the greatest idea to become TOO reliant on technology. Maybe if all the handwringers who blocked nuclear energy for decades hadn't been such demagogues, electric cars would be more common. I don't know. Later later...
There are the stars, and they don't change in our lifetimes...perhaps Betelgeuse, but I doubt Betelgeuse will go supernova for generations. I'd love to be alive to see that, it would be like the Dark Crystal planet or something. Astrology (Ophiuchus A.K.A. Oh,FUCK US) does not count..that's just the earth shifting on its axis, the stars didn't change. Astrology is fun, but it's hardly a faith. It's divination or whatever. "SCORPIO, you will encounter difficulties in relationships. Look out for an opportunity..." NO SHIT, Sherlock. Here's some master astrology from me: "You will screw up some. You will screw up some more. People will disappoint you. Your roommate/friend/parents/coworkers/S.O./etc will do something to irritate you. Politicians will kiss babies and shake hands, then when that doesn't get them votes & lobbies anymore, they'll shake babies and kiss hands. Some guru will claim to have all the answers to part you with your money & sit atop their pyramid tending to their 99 cadillacs. Water is wet. Look for opportunities. Welcome to the human condition".
How one lives is how one effects the world. I take Navy showers to reduce water consumption when rates go up from over-consumption or when there is one of the many water shortages in Florida. We live in a water based economy, primarily, and secondarily we use currency backed by petrodollars and derivatives & credit from selling our rectums to China & other countries that truly call the shots. Anyway..water. Arrakis (Iraq us). Desert planet:
How to Take a Navy Shower (Simplified)
Not much fun for a woman or for taking a shower with one. I live in Florida, which is home to more natural springs than anywhere else, due to the Florida Aquifer, a system of limestone caverns that rain water seeps into and is purified naturally. Many times, there are sinkholes, where a cavern gives way and someone loses their house. In many places, someone will own land on a natural spring, yet they do not own the spring..a company like Pepsi or Coca Cola will, and they own the rights to that water. They bottle it and sell our water overseas. They even have rights to municipal water systems and bottle that and sell it right back to us. I had a discussion with a friend about this, and it made me think of an episode of P&T's Bullshit where they talk about the same thing. I refrained from buying bottled water & just used a Brita filter or tap water. Florida tap water tastes like ASS, because of the water table & all the processing and treatment. However, US tap water is among the safest in the world unless you live near a fraction oil mining area or something where people have actually been able to turn their faucets on and set it on fire. Look it up, I'm not kidding. Bottled water is one of the biggest scams in the universe. It really is like that Brawndo crap from Idiocracy. "Nobody's buying their own water back from Brawndo, the economy is failing! Der der der, whattawedo?!"
Possessions
Everyone likes to own things. I have my fare share of stuff. I've been leveling over time, getting rid of things the past few years. I collect records. I have a few musical instruments that were good for zoning out in the audio representation of Om...generally what I would do, is sample things I liked onto a hard-drive, then donate them back to Goodwill or wherever. Buy a record for 50 cents, give it back, this is a way of supporting charity. It's a lend/lease program in my eyes. The good stuff I would tend to hold onto. I like records. I like the warmth and the scratch. But I don't even want most of mine anymore. GET RID of things that are not needed. A couple of pieces of furniture, a few framed pictures, TOOLS (my art tables, supplies), Total Gym (this thing is awesome, I have to admit..I don't think Wesley Snipes and Chuck Norris are talking out their ass about the TG), a small television & DVD player (libraries usually have all the books & DVDs one could want), I don't need much more.
The stuff I have, is COOL STUFF. I usually just give it away. A gift is a gift. I get my use from it, and then move it along. After a while, people accumulate so much stuff, their stuff owns them. Reminds me of that cheesy 80s movie, The Stuff:
Too true. A silly horror movie from the 80s with a subtext about rampant consumerism.
I celebrate "Buy Nothing Day", which historically has occurred on Black Friday. What better time to avoid being trampled by spiritually starved mobs wanting to be the first to have bragging rights on the SEXBOX 3 or whatever. What the hell? I know life's depressing, mankind, but an XBOX or Playstation isn't conducive to a healthy sex life. A Nintendo Wii maybe is. Wii Fit, holy crap, the Male Fitness strength training section is BRUTAL. Wii was designed with a progressive mindset for numerous life-enhancing uses. Therefore, it makes vaginas tingle. Those controllers vibrate like a fiend. If Nintendo wasn't as family oriented as it is, there'd be about 100 different X-rated videogames on the market. So, my tenant: If you must buy a videogame system, and you would like to see a vagina again instead of talking trash to 13-year-olds playing special ops on SOCOM or whatever, buy a Wii.
"Red, yellow, blue, yellow, red...CRAP, SCREW THIS, I WANNA CALL AN ESCORT SERVICE & PULL OUT THE SIMON SAYS!"
DIET
Fresh fruit. Fresh vegetables. Simple, yet elegant. Olive oil and a little lemon pepper makes most vegetables pop. Carrots are good. Raw or cooked. Especially cooked, a carrot cooked JUST a little bit is the only vegetable that becomes MORE nutritious when sauteed a bit. A good spice rack is essential to good eating. Instead of the pre-packaged taco seasoning that is loaded with MSG and other crap, can throw together a far better taco seasoning in about 1 minute. The following foods are known as "Super foods": Blueberries, almonds, apples, carrots, avocados, lentils, lima beans, oatmeal, soy beans, broccoli (my favorite), flax seed (good as filler in various recipes). As for teas, Green tea is ace (good for energy and cleaning out your system), Ginger tea (good for digestion), etc. As for meat..red meat isn't good regularly. It's all about fish, eggs, chicken, pork...though I do love a bloody rare steak now and then. Those I usually have to do myself, because every restaurant is afraid of being sued for cooking a steak rare. Crockpot is an indispensible item..you throw in a bunch of ingredients, set the timer, and you've got everything you need when the time comes. OH, and smoothies! Damn, I love smoothies. I stopped using the protein powder in smoothies so much, because it can lead to ketosis, too much protein and not enough carbohydrates. Kidney stones, kidney problems, kidney failure...that stuff is better left to body builders and calorie counters. I don't count calories too much. If you're walking around, riding a bike, doing stuff like that, things just sort of work out. A "balanced diet" is called such for a reason. How the heck can anyone enjoy life if they're counting calories all the damn time? I mean, who goes to a Mexican restaurant and does this? "Ok. Oooh...senorita, can you tell me how many calories are in these flautas?" FACE:PALM.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Movies In 5 Seconds
Brought to you by ThatGuyWithTheGlasses. And littler guys with glasses. Funny dude. These are among the best:
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
This is how I feel sometimes.
Buh buh buh..this blog was more for my innermost thoughts, feelings...all that touchy feely stuff. I've had other blogs..Xanga, Blogspot...I think I'll just seperate them into different themes. Non-Prophet Organization will be for all the darkness and observations of "WTF, where is the world headed". The comedy of grouchiness. This one...eh, I'll leave it for poetry, stuff I find amusing, pop culture critique, books that I've found helpful to me. I have a Super Secret Guy Club blog for all the frustrated males in the world & the stuff females don't like hearing, because they've probably heard it a million times from their dads and other guys already (zzzz). Gals have too much power already, the kind of power that counts. Don't look for that sort of insight from me so much, chicks! And I'll make one for my own artwork and comic strips. The one constant, is that of being funny. If I'm not funny, then I'll cry. The tears will become acid rain to corrode my soul. No good. Can't have that. Nobody can tell you're crying when you're swimming.
At Ichetucknee Springs one time, some latino guy fell into the waters from a dock, couldn't swim. His little girl was wailing hysterically, watching her dad flail around in the swift depths. He had one of those top notch cameras. I was not on an inner tube, my girlfriend at the time was & called my attention to this, I'd just seen him videoing before the "incident". So, I did something. About all one can do, because the current of the spring run is so freaking FAST, if you try and clobber someone and drag em by the hair or with one arm under em their arm, you'd probably drown yourself. The prettiest spring run can be deadly if one doesn't know how to swim. I saw some lady coming towards him in a canoe, so I just took a deep breath, dived down underneath him, grabbed his legs, and lifted him up above the water line until she got there to pull him into her canoe. Group effort. No accolades. No gold stars. Sometimes just DO things because they're right to do, and hope you don't get sued for bruising someone's leg. Good Samaritan Law. That came about due to diffusion of responsibility & lawyers run amok. Lawyers...I look forward to the day when lawyers are chasing bread trucks for a loaf of bread instead of ambulances. All these new law schools...how about some schools dedicated to streamlining houses or making them more energy efficient? "UC IRVINE TO OPEN NEW ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE CAMPUS"..headlines I'd like to see.
I thought he was just clowning around. Uh, no, the dude really didn't know how to swim. This is amazing to me. It seems like, if you've seen one of the many TV shows that show people swimming, you would know how to at least SWIM, though not like some Baywatch shit...never underestimate the power of panic. I was thinking a rogue gator had mosied up from the tannic waters of the Sante Fe for some mischief or something. "Aaaaah, papa papa!!"...poor little girl. Lo siento, papas fritas por su papa! Jajaja! Tengo chistes!
Welcome to spiritsville.
When Greece faced domination by Xerxes I, the Greek city states got together and decided how best to stop Persia. That movie 300 covers Leonidas, the Spartan king who led the forces that held the pass of Thermopylae...but the brains behind Persia's defeat was the leader of Athens, Themistocles. For years he tricked the Athenians into building up their Navy, despite the heat it brought him from other Robey McRobertons. He knew naval power would be instrumental in staving off any future Persian attacks. That wasn't covered at all in the movie/comic, made it seem like some act of god threw the Persians' ships onto the rocks, and the glorious pects of Spartan warriors did the rest...but, it was mostly a naval battle between the Athenian and Persian navies that occurred at the same time. If not for Themistocles...sheesh, there may have never been an Alexander the Great, he would've been shining the shoes of Persians or something. Well, maybe not shoes, I think they wore sandals then, and I'm not quite sure how one shines sandals. Don't see too many hippies at the shoe shine chair in airports. "My sandals are shiny, and I have tan feet now too!"
Monday, January 24, 2011
I Was Asked What It's Like Where I "Live"
Well, it sucks. That's why I'm doing things to GTFO of here. There used to a be a marginally funny website an acquaintance of mine ran called "Jackoffville.com" that summed it up pretty good. I would submit stuff, including pictures of the various denizens ones find in WalMart. The best was a picture of this redneck chick with a horrible mullet playing Deer Hunter at 1 AM. Deer Hunter, yeah..an arcade game, someone actually came up with that. What's next, Squirrel Hunter? Quail Zapper? I think Duck Hunt for Nintendo started that trend..and ended it. Plenty of REAL deer around here to go shooting at. Plus you get venison, which is the most delicious meat one can eat on earth. Incredibly lean, no fat.
Jacksonville is run by the First Baptist church. They even somehow got zoning to put up this lighthouse to assert their authority over the region. It's an eyesore, some complain about it, most people LOVE IT. Uh, this is FLORIDA, there's plenty of REAL Lighthouses, didn't need one right smack in the middle of downtown. Someone should make a pirate ship float and drive right into that thing. "Whoops. Thar be Baptists! ARrrrr!" It looks like Jesus's barber shop. "Hey ya'll come on in! I'm gonna HEAL all your horrible haircuts!".
"HUGE Eyesore? APPROVED! Anything remotely promoting progressiveness, economic growth, fun and inclusivity? DENIED!"
Imagine the town council from the movie Hot Fuzz. Kinda like that. Thing is like the tower of Sauron. The eye over everyone. Getchya EyeSaur-On!
"Hulp, pshhhhh, hulp psssh...bacchanalian evildoers, bohemians, anyone left of center, & Mayor Lowe of Gainesville, Reverend Sauron is watching you...(satan growl)"
Methlabs, Waffle Houses, and the occasional glimpse of culture. That is Jackoffville, FL. Oh, and lots of these:
"Uh...hey guys, Dukes of Hazard got canceled about 30 years ago...oh, and maybe ya didn't get the memo, the South LOST the Civil War. I guess Sherman burned the mail routes too."
Yeah, this eyesore was flying next to a Florida highway for awhile.
"Hang dem gay negro zombies high, Cleetus!"
Redneck Zombies. This can't be any worse than that Troma movie "Night Of The Living Rednecks" about zombie making moonshine.
Jacksonville is run by the First Baptist church. They even somehow got zoning to put up this lighthouse to assert their authority over the region. It's an eyesore, some complain about it, most people LOVE IT. Uh, this is FLORIDA, there's plenty of REAL Lighthouses, didn't need one right smack in the middle of downtown. Someone should make a pirate ship float and drive right into that thing. "Whoops. Thar be Baptists! ARrrrr!" It looks like Jesus's barber shop. "Hey ya'll come on in! I'm gonna HEAL all your horrible haircuts!".
"HUGE Eyesore? APPROVED! Anything remotely promoting progressiveness, economic growth, fun and inclusivity? DENIED!"
Imagine the town council from the movie Hot Fuzz. Kinda like that. Thing is like the tower of Sauron. The eye over everyone. Getchya EyeSaur-On!
"Hulp, pshhhhh, hulp psssh...bacchanalian evildoers, bohemians, anyone left of center, & Mayor Lowe of Gainesville, Reverend Sauron is watching you...(satan growl)"
Methlabs, Waffle Houses, and the occasional glimpse of culture. That is Jackoffville, FL. Oh, and lots of these:
"Uh...hey guys, Dukes of Hazard got canceled about 30 years ago...oh, and maybe ya didn't get the memo, the South LOST the Civil War. I guess Sherman burned the mail routes too."
Yeah, this eyesore was flying next to a Florida highway for awhile.
"Hang dem gay negro zombies high, Cleetus!"
Redneck Zombies. This can't be any worse than that Troma movie "Night Of The Living Rednecks" about zombie making moonshine.
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